When Zandro Palma talks about foster care, he doesn't start with the challenges. He starts with hope.
For years, Zandro's partner, Sean, dreamed of becoming a dad. Eventually, Zandro was ready to take that step with him, and together they began exploring foster care and adoption. Their first experience with another agency ended in disappointment—they were told they weren't ready, but never given a reason why.
Everything changed when they found Koinonia.
"From the very first person we met until now," Zandro shared, "every person has been professional, caring, understanding, available, and encouraging. Whenever we needed guidance, someone was there."
That support would become the foundation for a journey that neither of them could have imagined.
Learning to Love Through Foster Care
Like many new foster parents, Zandro and Sean didn't jump straight into adoption. Instead, they opened their home for respite care, giving temporary care to children while their foster families were away. Those early experiences became invaluable.
They cared for babies through sleepless nights, changed diapers together for the first time, comforted frightened children, supervised family visits, and watched children reunify with relatives.
Each child taught them something new. One little boy loved gardening and cooking, so they spent their days planting vegetables, making meals together, reading books, camping, and taking trips to the beach. Another child arrived with severe dental pain and undiagnosed autism. During the month he lived with them, Zandro worked tirelessly to get him medical care, behavioral evaluations, and the support he desperately needed.
When relatives stepped forward to care for those children, saying goodbye wasn't easy.
"There was heartbreak," Zandro admitted. "But our goal was always reunification. We wanted what was best for the child."
With every placement, Koinonia helped them grow. Whenever they encountered behaviors they didn't know how to handle, their team didn't leave them to figure it out alone. They offered practical strategies, encouragement, and reassurance.
"It was always, 'Try this,'" Zandro said. "And we'd try it... and it worked."
Looking back, those experiences were preparing them for the child who would change their lives forever.
Meeting Junior
When Koinonia first told them about six-year-old Junior, they were warned about the challenges. He had experienced multiple placements before coming to them. By the time he met Zandro and Sean, they would become his seventh home. He carried deep trauma, struggled with trust, and often expressed his fear through aggression.
Many families had said no. Zandro and Sean said yes.
Instead of rushing placement, the county and Koinonia helped them build a relationship slowly. They met at parks, shared meals together, explored the neighborhood, and eventually invited Junior to spend a night in their home. They wanted him to know he was wanted. Knowing he loved Sonic the Hedgehog, they decorated the house with Sonic decorations. Sean filled a chalkboard with drawings of his favorite character and wrote a welcome message just for him.
Junior's excitement was unforgettable, but once placement became official, reality set in.
"He would scream. He'd throw things. He tried to run away," Zandro recalled. "There were moments where we thought, 'What did we get ourselves into?'"
Still, they had made a decision long before. Things could be replaced. A child couldn't.
Rather than responding with punishment, they responded with consistency. Rather than giving up, they stayed.
Choosing Connection Every Day
Healing didn't happen overnight. There were months of interrupted sleep, night terrors, emotional outbursts, and endless questions about whether they were doing enough. But every time they hit a wall, Koinonia stepped in.
Their Koinonia social worker, Jenessa, answered phone calls, talked them through difficult days, and offered practical ideas for helping Junior regulate his emotions.
When one therapist wasn't the right fit, Koinonia encouraged them to advocate for something better. Once the right team came together—including therapists, psychiatrists, county partners, and Koinonia staff—they no longer felt like they were carrying the weight alone.
"It became this big team," Zandro said. "Everybody was working together to help Junior succeed."
That support didn't just help Junior, it helped Zandro and Sean stay strong enough to keep showing up. One professional even noticed how much parenting stress had strained their relationship and intentionally spent time helping them reconnect as a couple.
"It brought us back together," Zandro said. "People knew what they were doing, and they helped us keep going."
A Different Little Boy
Today, Junior is almost unrecognizable from the little boy who first walked through their door.
The child who once struggled to trust now tells his dads he feels loved.
He went from refusing homework to reading at grade level within a year. His progress became so significant that his educational support needs decreased.
The home that was once filled with constant chaos is now filled with routines, laughter, and growing confidence.
Recently, Junior accomplished something that might seem small to most families but represented an enormous milestone for him. After years of trauma and fear, he slept through the night in his own bed. It's a victory earned through countless nights of patience, encouragement, therapy, consistency, and unconditional love.
Perhaps the most powerful evidence of healing came during a conversation Zandro recorded before this interview. He asked Junior what had made the biggest difference in his life. Junior thought for a moment before answering.
"I think it's changed that I got adopted here."
Then Zandro asked him what adoption meant to him.
Junior happily responded, "I feel loved, and happy, and supported."
The Power of Never Giving Up
For children who have experienced trauma, healing isn't about finding perfect parents. It's about finding parents who stay. Parents who understand that difficult behaviors often come from deep wounds. Parents who keep showing up, even when progress feels slow. Parents who are willing to learn, ask for help, and believe that healing is possible.
That has been Zandro and Sean's greatest gift—not only to Junior, but to every child who has entered their home.
They've shown that love is more than a feeling.
It's patience during sleepless nights.
It's advocating for therapy and medical care.
It's learning new parenting strategies.
It's celebrating tiny victories that others might overlook.
It's reminding a frightened child, over and over again, that they aren't going anywhere.
And it's allowing a team of people—including Koinonia—to walk alongside you through every step of the journey.
Today, Junior knows something he didn't know when he entered foster care.
He has a family.
He belongs.
And because two dads chose to keep showing up, one little boy finally believes he's home.
Kaitlin Earnest, Contributor