(by Bianca Kaszubinski, as told to Kaitlin Earnest)
As I’ve grown up, I’ve become more comfortable saying it out loud: I am an adoptee.
For a long time, it felt like just one part of my story. But over the years, I’ve come to understand that adoption has shaped so much of who I am—both in my personal life and in the work I do today. It’s not something I shy away from anymore. It’s something I carry with pride.
I was adopted at five years old. Before that, I spent a short time in foster care. Not long after, my brother and I attended an adoption picnic—yes, just like in Instant Family. Our parents later told us they were supposed to mingle and meet all the kids, but that’s not how our story went.
We found them.
From the very beginning, my brother and I were drawn to them. We stayed by their side the entire time. It wasn’t about being chosen—it was about connection. And that connection changed everything.
Not long after we were placed together, our family grew again. Our social worker called to share that we had a baby brother who had just been born. Without hesitation, our parents said yes to adopting him too. Because of that decision, we were able to grow up together—a gift that has meant everything to us.
As the years have passed, my definition of family has only expanded. I have an older sister who was also adopted, and over time we’ve built a close and meaningful relationship. I also have a younger sister who remained with our biological family, and I’ve been able to maintain a connection with her as well.
There’s also a piece of my story that carries deep loss. All of us share a biological sibling who passed away at a young age. She remains an incredibly important and meaningful part of my life and story—someone I carry with me always.
Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with my biological family. One of the most powerful full-circle moments has been watching my adoptive mom meet my biological parents and extended family. Seeing those worlds come together—worlds that shaped me in different ways—has been deeply meaningful.
Today, I work at Koinonia, and being an adoptee in this space is something I don’t take for granted.
It gives me a unique lens. When I work with families, I often find myself reflecting on my own childhood—thinking about what I may have needed at different stages, what felt hard, and what made a difference. It helps me better understand the children and families I serve, not just professionally, but personally.
And now, as a mom myself, that perspective has deepened even more.
Motherhood has given me an even greater understanding of how important connection is—how vital it is for a child to feel safe, loved, and protected. It’s shaped the way I show up, both at home and in my work.
Working at Koinonia feels like a full-circle moment. It has helped me better understand the child I once was, while also shaping the parent I am today. I’m able to support families not just with training or resources, but with lived experience, empathy, and a deep understanding of what connection truly means.
This is my story. And I’m proud to share it.
Kaitlin Earnest, Contributor